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A relationship for her is that warm feeling inside when someone is holding your arm, when you fall asleep entwined, when you wander together along a beach.
But that warm feeling is just a single component of the complex construct that is a relationship. Not all single people are plagued by loneliness, of course.
Don’t just remember the good things about past relationships – dredge up some of the bad moments too.
A relationship is not just some kind of straightforward ‘solution’ to loneliness; it comprises the complex interplay of the desires, anxieties and also sometimes obsessions of two individuals.
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When you get back home with that huge package from IKEA, you’ll think: “Why isn’t there anybody to help me? ” If you talk yourself into thinking how terrible everything is, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to help you carry that self-assembly bookcase, but you didn’t have to engage in a lengthy and heated discussion at the shop about whether beech or oak finish would be better. If things are getting too much for you, it really does help to take at least one deep breath.
She wants to be loved, but essentially she doesn’t see herself as deserving love.
If she did, she would feel more relaxed about things.
For Angie, life as half of a couple has become a somewhat abstract concept.
For her, a relationship is about finding someone to alter her lonesome state.